Kansas City and the Middle of Nowhere.

Putting all his business out there. I got hit at the gas station by a man who I believe had dementia. As we pulled in, we saw a car pulled in perpendicular to the pump. It was all wrong and should've been a clear sign something was about to go down. It was pouring rain and everyone was looking for some sort of reprieve, bringing the crowds to a gas station/rest stop. Completely unaware, I was inside buying coffee. Because white people love to snitch, a man came rushing in to tell me he stopped the car and got his license plate. I dipped out and this man is waiting by his car, cigarette hanging from his lips, already making excuses. The damage was minimal, but I got the info just in case something develops.

The gas station sold hard liquor, by the way. I've never seen Cuervo and Jim beam on a BP shelf-- that seems like a bad idea.

Moving along, we finally crossed into Kansas. Straight to my favorite place on earth:

Naturally, I won every game and impressed Kansas bystanders with my golfing abilities. A younger white guy to the right swung and accidentally threw his golf club over the ledge. He 'joked' that he was going to take one out of my rack, so I had to snitch like my man at the gas station because I have zero time for extra charges. I stopped at 37 gas stations and none had souvenir shot glasses- WTF. So, I'm 3 parts salty I missed that one for my collection.

We pressed on to Gretna, Nebraska. It definitely wasn't the smartest idea to get there at midnight. We drove an unpaved road for about 3 miles, without a single person, light or settling feeling. These were the directions we got from the owner. Of course, his name was Chad.

Not one, but TWO goat pastures. We got an AirBnb that was a tiny house. A legit tiny house:

You walk in and you sit down. Dassit. Why do white people love tiny houses? They had a 'compost' toilet. AKA a hippie indoor outhouse. I boycotted the toilet and fake shower and the first hour was spent killing flies. I'm writing this from a coffee shop in Omaha, because we had to leave at sunrise. I couldn't hold it anymore.

I just want a steak before I leave.